{this moment} on two continents! 22 March 2013

Each week my South African friend Vanessa and I post {this moment} on two continents! as a ritual to celebrate our friendship and the bond we share as we raise our boys "together" on opposite sides of the globe.

{this moment} With our boys, on the same Tuesday morning, on opposite sides of the globe.

 Ruben & Miles - United States

Aidan - South Africa

Inspired by Soulemama - {this moment} A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - some words :-) capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

A Sense of Place ~ A Family of Friends

 {Signs of Spring} 

Preparing for this years growth. 

The scientist in me has always loved finding new ways to measure things and watch them grow. I can still remember when I was a little girl and I learned that trees grew a new ring each year so you could easily count them to tell how old a tree was when it was cut down. I was astounded and intrigued that something in nature could document the passage of time in such a simple yet perfect way.  I would picture the trees around me - the small ones and the big - and wonder what their rings looked like inside.  I was equally fascinated when I learned (much later in life) that you can also look at a trees branches to measure its growth using the terminal bud scars on the twigs to gauge the age on a living tree.

When climate change first came into the news I heard about dendrochronology, the science that studies growth rings. I am amazed that we can look at the rings of a tree and literally see how it weathered the climate and environment it lived in through the years.  In essence trees harbor the story of their lives in their cross section. You can tell whether there were times of stress or periods of optimal conditions, just by looking at the ring from that year. I find this particularly intriguing right now because I have been thinking a lot about how we archive our human lives. How we internalize the joys and the sorrows that we each carry as a testament of our personal growth.  How we hold them as memories inside our souls.

As a family, our last year in particular has harbored some of the greatest "droughts and downpours" alongside some of the most "optimum conditions for growth" I have ever experienced in my life. Undoubtedly one of the biggest peaks we experienced was the move to this house.  Michael and I knew when we found this home that we had finally found a place for our family to grow and flourish through the years. One of the first things we did when we moved in was begin to identify the trees on our property. Perhaps I was drawn to do this first because, like these trees, I have finally found myself rooted to one place. I love the fact the boys are forming childhood memories here, and in them this is the place that signifies home.  I hope that it is somewhere they can find comfort and wonder as they develop their own sense of place and begin to figure out who they are in this life.

One thing that our new found sense of place has helped us realize, is the fact that we needed to find a "new family tree!"

Let me explain. I found a way to combine my love of both nature and photography (and my hope to document the experience of our lives) in a tradition of taking pictures by a tree I affectionately started to call, "our family tree." This actually started before Miles was born because Michael and I took the first "family photo" while we were still "Patiently Waiting" to become parents.

November 2009 - waiting for baby #1.

 October 2011 - waiting for baby #2

March 2012 - The Triant Quartet

Our last family photo at this magnificent tree was taken over a year ago now.  Sadly, we realized that because our two boys keep us so busy, and we spend most of our free time exploring the land closer to our new home, we have not made it back to "our tree."  Instead of worrying about the fact that we will not have an image to document our change in growth over the year, we decided to make another change. Last weekend we found a "new family tree." 

The March skies were blue and the air was crisp; it seemed the perfect day to go out and find a new place to take our family photo!

March 2013 - "Our New Family Tree"

We have watched this old oak change from a distance as we have walked the trails of this park. Up close, as I looked through the viewfinder, it seemed to be the right place for our photo. I can already imagine how the backdrop will change through the seasons and over the years.  Although I am sad to say goodbye to our old tree, I know that this new one signifies our new found sense of place. It is truly the place that we will grow roots; and along with our boys continue to learn, and grow, and change.  Together we will experience the "environment and the climate" that will shape the years of our lives. Together we will imprint them in the form of memories into our souls ~ all the while the trees around us will be growing new rings to record each year.

March 2013 - Playing near our new tree.

 

Hikers - (with our tree in the background).

The story continues because I want to share the really special fact that we have dear friends on the other side of the world that have also used photos to record their changes over the years. (Side note: Please excuse the fact that out of habit, almost every time I mention them, I cannot help but refer to them without saying "dear friends" as part of the introduction - because we are truly blessed to share such a connected bond from so very far away <3)

In South Africa, early on in the pregnancy, Vanessa and Sean took one of their first "family photos" beside a bench near the ocean.

They returned months later when the waiting for baby was almost over!

February 2013

Recently they converged on the same bench and took another picture - this time with Aidan on the outside! Vanessa made the comment that Aidan was the one showing his belly in this photo; something that happened by accident, but seemed perfectly fitting! I adore the fact that this beautiful family has also been documenting their growth from a place that they love. It seems especially appropriate that their backdrop is the ocean. They make their home in one of the loveliest ocean side villages I have ever seen, and the sea is a constant presence in their lives.

Like the tides behind them, their lives - (like all of ours) are certain to ebb and flow. There will be times that the sands will shift!  Evidenced in the fact that the bench they share, and the railing behind them, have fallen into disrepair and have almost been enveloped by the ocean.  Yet, what remains as the most important part of the image is the sense of strength in the family unit. The fact that no matter how wobbly the path becomes they will be able to hold on to each other for balance.

I guess that is one of the most important things a family can be  - a stabilizing force, a metaphysical sense of place, a secure home for your shared memories - as the rest of the world swirls around you.

Another lesson I have learned from my friendship with my "dear friend" Vanessa is that sometimes friends really can become like the family you choose for yourselves. Or in our instance, the family you find as you are wandering the stalls of the Santa Fe flea market ( ~ hers in particular).  I will never forget how I was feeling like a rather aimless soul wandering the high desert mesa that day; and suddenly the kindness and wise words of a stranger were there to pick me up and put me on my path again. Quite literally she helped me find my home there, and through her example I learned to live to my potential and to love the desert more that I ever imagined I could. We forged a friendship that has held strong despite the distance and the years that have come between us.  One of the things that sustains us are the (more infrequent since becoming moms :-) times we get to sit and really write letters to each other.  Here is an excerpt from one I recently sent her.

"I heard a blurb on the radio one day while driving about "soul mates" and the speaker was talking about soul mates in this life - not as lovers or life partners - but the friends that are given to us as "soul mates" to help us learn more about ourselves and live to our potential in this life!  When I heard that I immediately thought of you! My sister soul mate on another continent!"

As I prepare for another growing season, I am thinking about the people that I hold close. The relationships that help me grow as a person. The connections that sustain me, fill me with strength, and help me continue to become a better me.  I am thinking about the people and places I hold inside me - that have become part of me - that I carry inside me like the invisible rings of a tree marking my years.

I am so thankful for this home and the opportunity I have to develop a new sense of place in the years to come. I am thankful for our "new family tree." I am oh so thankful for my family beneath its branches. And, I am incredibly thankful for the "family" of friends I have formed this life. "Dear friends" whose lives have made indelible imprints on my heart. <3

{P.S. Thanks Vanessa, Sean and Aidan for finally relinquishing the sun and sending the warm rays back our way! Happy Vernal Equinox ~ to everyone in my hemisphere :-) }

{this moment} on two continents! 15 March 2013

{This moment} on two continents! occurred as my South African friend Vanessa and I took our boys shopping - in two different hemispheres. Unbeknownst to each other we both snapped pictures of our boys during the expedition, and then felt compelled to share them. This moment of serendipity led us to the idea that it would be fun to share with the world our experience of raising babies - as dear friends - living on different continents. We may live on opposite sides of the globe with different seasons and different cultures, but we share the same passion for the outdoors and the same love of this adventure called motherhood! So with that said - we hope to continue to do tandem posts - as often as is convenient - and share our experience - with or without words - for all to enjoy.

Incidentally, our boys Ruben and Aidan were born five days apart in November of 2011.

One of my very last posts on my previous blog, The Triant Trio, was about baking a birthday cake while we waited for baby Aidan to be born! It was truly an unbelievable thing to share a pregnancy with Vanessa on the other side of the world (with the help of Skype)!  It has also been amazing to watch our boys grow "together" from this far apart.  Now you can watch them too!

(Many thanks again to the Soule Family for their inspiration and impetus for this new ritual in our lives)

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - some words :-) capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. 

Miles & Ruben - United States

 

Aidan - South Africa

And so a tradition begins ~ Each week my South African friend Vanessa and I post {this moment} as a ritual to celebrate our friendship and the bond we share as we raise our boys "together" on opposite sides of the globe.  

Serendipity

Don't you just love those moments when serendipity just finds you. I had one of those occasions recently when I had the opportunity to peruse my local library *by myself*  (a rare enough occurrence in itself) and this book literally just found me!

In addition to the fact that there are so many special stories that I love about the life of this beautiful family, I felt SO many similarities to my own love of the seasons - and subsequently I felt a deep connection to this book. (Almost like it was the sister manuscript to the seasonal curriculum I have been writing in my heart for years now.) I was instantly hooked - right there in the aisles of the library! I am so grateful for their story, and for the fact that they felt compelled to capture their lives, through both their images and heartfelt words, and compile them into a book for all of us to enjoy.

The book is, The Rhythm of Family - Discovering a Sense of Wonder through the Seasons by Amanda Blake Soule and Stephen Soule.  As I researched the book I found the blog that corresponds to their lives. Because I was so thankful for the inspiration and companionship that the book provided, I was almost beside myself to discover that there was also a weekly blog to connect with!

One of the things I have discovered about this wonderful blog is something called {this moment}. It is a simple pure ritual that I hope to incorporate into my own blog / life. I know I can manage to take a moment and reflect each week on something simple and perfect that has occurred in my life. (My hope is that I can also manage to document it visually to share.) At the very least this discovery was a brilliant reminder to take a moment each week to ponder the amazing moments that have occurred in between all of the hectic and the mundane. Like sparkling seashells that appear in between the pebbles on the beach or those vivid moments when the clouds parts and the rays of lights stream though, I know that they happen each and every day; the magic is being able to acknowledge and appreciate them. 

Anyway - I digress - and I have used far too many words to be in accordance with the intended ritual.  Here is the initial introduction from the SouleMama Blog - and the corresponding caption for the weekly post.

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - some words :-) capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

 

Here is an explanation - because I am already far too long on words! {This moment} Ruben was trying to ride his tricycle, because he was watching big brother Miles on his push cycle, and he was trying to keep up. I call it "Big Boy Aspirations."

So - since I have been compelled to break the rules and talk all over this post about appreciating a supposedly silent moment. I hope that if you have stumbled here - or found this message unexpectedly in the middle of your day - that you can take a peek into our world; and then remember to wrap your arms around the things you love the most about your own!

Rhythms, Rituals & Routines

 

Wow! What a month we have had at our house! I have been trying to find a moment to type this post for over two weeks now - especially because I want friends and family who are away to see the big excitement at our house! Ruben is officially walking!  He took his first steps during the Super Bowl, (something I think will be fun to tell him one day) and by Valentines Day it was his preferred method of transportation. I am still amazed when he waddles into a room. He walks a bit like a hunch backed old man right now. He has his shoulders bunched up by his neck and his legs in a wide stance. Perhaps bracing himself in anticipation of the next stumble, as he is still prone to the occasional misstep and fall. I can hardly believe I have two walking babies now!  I love it when they are interacting standing up now - just like it was something they have always done. I find myself staring as they stand and play together because I just cannot believe that my boys are this big.  Here is a series of pictures over the years now - you can see how big they have gotten.

December 2011

February 2012

February 2013

(In our favorite shirts with capes from Aunt Sally!)

We have been able to spend more time outside, since we are finally feeling better, and we have enjoyed the snow.  We put our bird food treats out and loved watching as the birds discovered, and quickly devoured them!  We have already made another batch for our winged friends.

I love this picture of Ruben as he watched Michael and Miles shovel the snow off the back deck and gather wood for our fireplace.

 

Here is Miles on a rare sunny day in the kitchen.  It felt good to sit and have lunch as the light washed over us warming the room, and lifting our spirits with the hopes that winter will not last forever.

As the days grow - ever so slightly - longer  I am reminded of the things that I love the most about the changing seasons right now.  I simply adore watching time pass by seeing how much my boys have grown.  The most important part of celebrating the little changes right now seems to be creating a palette for them to deviate from. I guess what I mean by that is that I am learning that one of the most important parts of parenting young children is finding routines and rituals in your everyday life that help to form patterns for your days and weeks.  As a family we are FINALLY feeling like we have a regular routine around here.

It is this rhythm in our days that I hope helps them find strength in their sense of place, their sense of home, and subsequently in who they are as individuals.  I am not saying that I am trying to map out each minute and make their lives routine. What I am saying though it that I am enjoying having a plan for our days/weeks so there is some method to this dance we call life. I am hoping it will resemble something more of an elegant waltz than a funky modern dance routine.  (Although both can be beautiful.) No matter what I know we will enjoy the process - we are busy and blessed with days full of challenges, laughter, and love... lots of love around here. :-)

sick

2012 ended and 2013 began with an unbelievable string of illnesses. We have had ear infections, colds, coughs, laryngitis, and horrible achy yucky viruses for what feels like forever now! (And Ruben is teething again.) We had to cancel Miles' birthday party; which felt really unfair for a kid who was so excited about turning three.  We barely made it through Christmas Eve & Christmas celebrations with family. We managed to pull it together enough to begin the New Year with friends - only to get sick again!

Here is a picture of Miles, watching more T.V. than he has known in his entire lifetime, while trying to overcome his fever with his favorite stuffed animals and a blanket of mine from college.

Here is sweet Ruben hugging his "Lamby" after a nap. This was one of the rare occasions that he slept for more than an hour at a time because of his ear infection(s).  This sleeplessness is something we are STILL struggling with. As I take the time to write this post I am thinking that really, I should be sleeping, because he is right now. But, I know it has been a long time since I have caught up.  So long in fact, that I have some precious moments from the end of last year that I MUST include in this post.

Here is the moment that Miles put on the football helmet and jersey that "Uncle Marty" sent for Christmas. Have you ever seen such intense delight in child's eyes? He was literally trembling with excitement as I took this picture! Thank you again Mr. Marty.

In December we had some wonderful visits with family around the holidays. Brothers got to come visit from far away. My brother Matt and my sister-in-law Jessica got to share Miles' birthday (right before he got sick) with a hike in the park. The weather was still mild enough that he was able to ride his bike for the trek.

 

 Miles & Uncle Matt on the trail!

Theo Dan visited and shared some of his computer genius.  

(Doesn't this look like an ad for Apple?)

This moment was too cute as they cuddled up with their juice and some love from their uncle!

I will save my adoration for the daycare where the boys go a couple of days a week for another post - but, to make a long story short - Miles and I made bird food ornaments as tree decorations for the "Festival of the Trees" that was held in January. (For which I was super sick... big surprise!)

Making bird food decorations.

Winter has finally arrived in Michigan with a blast of sub zero temperatures that actually felt good because we were wondering where our cold weather was!

I have a great calendar that I use for Miles' preschool curriculum and it includes all of the random and obscure holidays you never knew you should be celebrating.  Through this we found out that January 23rd was Measure Your Feet Day (I am not kidding - look it up)! So we decided to participate with a family project after dinner. I think this is my new favorite piece of artwork in our house!

And, just like that January is gone. We are definitely on the mend around here, but life is still a little hectic on many levels. Right now it kind of feels like we took a bunch of puzzle pieces and just threw them up in the air and we are waiting for them to fall and see where that land.  But, I feel like when they ~eventually~ all land, we can begin to settle in to the new rhythm that will be this year; and the next exciting chapter of our lives!

...out of darkness

This time of year is hard for me, and this year I seem to be noticing it even more. It is not just the hectic holiday energy wearing me down. It is more than that.  I think that all of the darkness we experience this time of year affects me on a visceral level. I really have a hard time when the days are so short that you leave the house in the dark in the morning, and come home in the dark in the evening.  I feel like life is obviously telling me to slow down. I remind myself that my ancestors would have sheltered together, huddled by fires, and probably slept away most of the winter. Instead in our modern world we keep moving at break neck speed regardless that the natural world is telling us to rest. 

Of course this year is especially hard because in addition to the physical darkness, there is unbelievable fact that we lost both of the amazing matriarchs of our family within a month of each other this year.  Though we knew Yia Yia Liz was sick, it is still incredibly hard to accept the fact that she is gone. We are so thankful for the time we had this fall to hold her close and tell her how much we loved her.  We were able to make and share some precious memories in the final days. I find comfort in knowing that she lived a long and beautiful life surrounded by the love of so many members of this community!

A portrait of our amazing Yia Yia Liz.

This is the thoughtful reminder from the beatitude of Matthew 5:4 that was there to greet each choir member (from all three choirs!) when they arrived to sing for Yia Yia's beautiful funeral.  So many people were there to share in the celebration of her life, but at the same time I know we are all mourning the loss of her physical presence in ours. Grief is a strange thing, and I am learning that it affects everyone in a different way.  Right now it seems like an additional layer to the blanket of darkness that is covering us.  I have to remind myself that although our experience this year with loss is extraordinary; the dark days of winter are not. In fact this time of year must be where the origins of hope began.  Though I understand the scientific explanation there is something truly astounding about the solstice that still fills me with wonder.  As the days grow shorter approaching the darkest of the year it seems inevitable that feelings of despondence creep in.  Yet, in the same way that the dark will fill the days of winter, it is also inevitable that slowly the light will return.  I find hope in knowing that the dark days of grief cannot last forever either.

All I have to do is look at my sweet boys to remind me that there is definitely hope in the darkness. Amazingly, when we woke up the morning of her funeral, Ruben decided to sit at the piano and sing us a song! It seemed the perfect way to celebrate Yia Yia Liz ~ with music in the air!  I see a future filled with music for both my boys, and I love knowing that her love of song was passed on to them in the time they got to share with her.

We are truly sad around here. Yet I would be remiss if I made you think we thought these feelings would last forever. Life is constantly changing - I know. Our emotions continue to ebb and flow. Sometimes the brightest moment will be cut with sadness because we wish one of our grandmothers was here to share it. At the same time we are enjoying all the beautiful memories that flood over us unexpectedly, and remind us to reflect on the light that these women were in our lives.  We will continue to follow the trajectory of our orbit - (as a family and as a planet) - and inevitably we will find that we have come out of darkness... into the light.

We are just trying to trust in the process and allow ourselves the time to heal and hope in the meantime!